As we journey through life, we inevitably encounter pain and grief. These experiences, when addressed with an attitude of fear and aversion, can harden our hearts and make it difficult to move forward. Because grief feels so big and scary, and because our culture teaches us to push it away, it is often hard to shift our attitude about grief.
When you can take the attitude of seeing grief and pain as teachers for you, as an opportunity for personal transformation, you can reap powerful results by turning towards what is most difficult for you. Life will give you many opportunities if you don’t get it the first time, so you can learn to shift your perspective through each loss or challenge in your life.
When we are able to turn toward our grief and pain with curiosity instead of fear, we also need to not feel alone. We can give ourselves the support and connection we need to address and face this pain with our wholeness, or an attitude of wellbeing, resilience, compassion and kindness. What I mean by this is, what parts of you are not feeling this pain and how can they bring support to the parts of you that are in pain? This allows us to connect more with ourselves at a deeper level.
Another way to look at approaching grief from our wholeness, is to think about your ability to create a powerful healing container inside of you. In order to hold our grief and pain, we must first learn how to develop a relationship with ourselves. Grieving requires us to hold and soften, rather than push and ignore. In order to heal from grief and trauma, we must unblock our bodies and hearts. We can do this by opening the door to our own hearts and learning how to give ourselves the love and compassion we need. This involves practicing self-compassion, self-love, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness. By nurturing ourselves with kindness, we can face anything that life throws our way.
This is what I call creating a “Self-Compassion Container” for yourself and you can do it in many ways. Ultimately, the process involves befriending and giving compassion to all of

you — including the parts of you that are in pain–so that you develop a loving relationship with all of you. From this place of wholeness, you can address the parts of you that are hurting.

It can be challenging to give ourselves permission to grieve, especially in a culture that often values productivity over emotional well-being. However, it is important to be compassionate and fierce when it comes to our own needs. Learning how to navigate our grief voyage is essential for healing, both individually and with others. Learning how to bring fierce compassion to yourself in order to create a healing container with others is a powerful tool you will learn.
If you would like to learn how to safely turn toward your grief and pain, join us on the Midlife Voyage to Transformation at the Fall Retreat. We offer tools and practices to help you create your own healing container for grief and help you learn how to use it to move resiliently through the rest of your life. You will begin to see your transformation blooming as you reach the end of this 5 day nature-based healing retreat.